Santa ka techie-tabbar !

(Did you know “A joke a day keeps the doctor away”? Unless he happens to be your fun-Doctor, in which case enhanced empathy with him is the outcome!)
Once santa’s friend went to his
home and asked him to introduce his family.

Santa introduces:

“Yeh meri biwi GOOGLE KAUR,
ek sawal pucho 10 jawab deti hai. .
Yeh mera beta FACEBOOK SINGH,
ghar ki har baat muhalle tak pahuchata hai.. :p .

Aur yeh meri beti TWITTER KAUR,
pura muhalla raat din follow karta hai ise.. :P :D

The ideal all-in-one hubby!

(Did you know “A joke a day keeps the doctor away”? Unless he happens to be your fun-Doctor, in which case enhanced empathy with him is the outcome!)

Who is an Ideal Husband????

The man who looks like
Tom Cruise,

Earns like
Lakshmi Mittal,and

Obeys commands like
Manmohan Singh!!!

Half is full truth !

(Did you know “A joke a day keeps the doctor away”? Unless he happens to be your fun-Doctor, in which case enhanced empathy with him is the outcome!)

The editor of a small weekly newspaper, annoyed at legislation that had recently been passed, ran a scathing editorial under the headline: HALF OFOUR LEGISLATORS ARE CROOKS.

Many prominent local politicians were outraged and tremendous pressure was exerted on him to retract the statement.

He finally succumbed to the pressure and ran an apology with the headline:HALF OF OUR LEGISLATORS ARE NOT CROOKS !!!

 

Pyaar ka instant recharge !

(Did you know “A joke a day keeps the doctor away”? Unless he happens to be your fun-Doctor, in which case enhanced empathy with him is the outcome!)

Girl: Aaj se hamara rishta khatam
Hum ek dusre ko sare gift wapis karte
hain……:
.
Boy: Thik hai, RECHARGE se start karte hain….

Girl: Janu ab mazaq bhi nahi kar sakti
kya ?

Aaj ki Draupadi !

(Did you know “A joke a day keeps the doctor away”? Unless he happens to be your fun-Doctor, in which case enhanced empathy with him is the outcome!)

Two girls are traveling in a train:
Girl-1: Tujhe kaisa pati chahiye?
Girl-2: Mujhe Crorepati chaiiye.

Girl-1: Crorepati na miley to?
Girl-2: 50 lakh ke 2 pati chaleñge.

Girl-1: 50 lakh ke na miley to?
Girl-2: 25 lakh ke 4 pati bhi chaleñge.

 

UPPER birth pe soya hua Pappu
bola:

JAB YE 1000 RUPAYE PE AAYE TO
MUJHE UTHA DENA..!

When King is Singh !

(Did you know “A joke a day keeps the doctor away”? Unless he happens to be your fun-Doctor, in which case enhanced empathy with him is the outcome!)
Sardar Dhakkan Singh is big hunter. Once he went to a zoo. At that time a  big lion escaped from its cage. The zoo officials sent everyone out of the zoo and closed the main gate. Now the lion is inside the zoo but wandering freely.
Zoo people requested sardar to go inside and trap the lion in a cage. Scared, but to avoid insult, he went inside the zoo in his jeep carrying a big gun. While driving on one of the zoo’s roads, he noticed that the lion is chasing him. Feeling scared he drove the jeep fast but only to observe that the lion is very near the jeep.
At that time the road forked into two paths ahead, one to the left and other to the right.
 
Then cleverly Dhakkan Singh put the left indicator on and turned the jeep to the right side. The lion ran into the left path. With a
sigh of relief, he drove forward.
After some time the roads met and the same situation arose again. Once more the road divided into two and this  time our sardar was smart enough to put the right indicator on and turned to left. This time the lion took the road on right side.
After some time the roads met again, to our sardar’s  misfortune, and the lion started to chase him again. This time the road never divided and our sardar thought the lion would catch him.
 
Then a brilliant idea struck his mind. He slowed down his jeep taking it to the left corner of the road. Then he held his hand outside and gave a signal meant for vehicles which want to overtake. The lion this time overtook his jeep and ran forward.
NOW TELL ME WHAT IS THE MESSAGE OF THE  STORY??
 
ANSWER BELOW…………
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 MESSAGE: “There are Sardar Communities among Lions too”.
 

 

Aisa bhi hota hai yaaron!

SAD SUICIDE STORY:-

A biker saw a gal abt 2 jump off a bridge.
He stops n asks, “Wat r u doin?”

Gal-m gonna commit suicide.
Boy-b4 u jump y dont u giv me a kiss?
She agrees.

Aftr kissin he says-Wow! Dat ws d bst kis.
Y r u comittin suicide?

Gal-My parnts dnt lyk me dressin up lyk a gal..

THE BIKER JUMPED OFF THE BRIDGE… ;) o_O

Malicious Whodunnit !

(Did you know “A joke a day keeps the doctor away”? Unless he happens to be your fun-Doctor, in which case enhanced empathy with him is the outcome!)

All the children are restless and the teacher decides to have an early dismissal.

Teacher: “Whoever answers the questions I ask, first and correctly can leave early today.”

Little Johnny says to himself “Good, I want to get outta here. I’m smart and will answer the question.”

Teacher: “Who said ‘ Four Score and Seven Years Ago’?”

Before Johnny can open his mouth, Susie says, “Abraham Lincoln.”

Teacher: “That’s right Susie, you can go home.”

Johnny is mad that Susie answered the question first.

Teacher: “Who said ‘I Have a Dream’?”

Before Johnny can open his mouth, Mary says, “Martin Luther King.”

Teacher: “That’s right Mary, you can go.”

Johnny is even madder than before.

Teacher: “Who said ‘Ask not, what your country can do for you’?”

Before Johnny can open his mouth, Nancy says, “John F. Kennedy.”

Teacher: “That’s right Nancy , you may also leave.”

Johnny is boiling mad that he has not been able to answer any of the questions.

When the teacher turns her back Johnny says, “I wish these bitches would keep their mouths shut!”

The teacher turns around: “NOW WHO SAID THAT?”

Johnny: “TIGER WOODS. CAN I GO NOW?”


Trumping the Tech-truths !

(Did you know “A joke a day keeps the doctor away”? Unless he happens to be your fun-Doctor, in which case enhanced empathy with him is the outcome!)

A cowboy named Bud was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture in Alberta when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced toward him out of a cloud of dust.

The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, RayBan sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window and asked the cowboy, “If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, Will you give me a calf?”

Bud looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, “Sure, Why not?”

The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it to his Cingular RAZR V3 cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo.

The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg , Germany.

Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses an MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response.

Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet printer, turns to the cowboy and says, “You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves.”

“That’s right. Well, I guess you can take one of my animals,” says Bud.

He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on with amusement as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.

Then Bud says to the young man, “Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my animal?”

The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, “Okay, why not?”

“You’re a Member of Parliament for the Canadian Government”, says Bud.

“Wow! That’s correct,” says the yuppie, “but how did you guess that?”

“No guessing required.” answered the cowboy. “You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You used millions of dollars worth of equipment trying to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don’t know a thing about how working people make a living – or about cows, for that matter.

This is a herd of sheep… now give me back my dog.

Confidentially confident !

(Did you know “A joke a day keeps the doctor away”? Unless he happens to be your fun-Doctor, in which case enhanced empathy with him is the outcome!)

A DIFFERENTIAL CALCULUS OF RELATIONSHIPS!

Kid: “Mom, what is the difference between confident & confidential?”

Mom: “I am your Mom, I am confident but who is your Dad is confidential” !