Moronic Business

Qs.  What’s the best way to keep a moron busy?
Ans. Handing him a piece of paper with “P.T.O” written on either side!

And now, my (adapted ) limerick to explain the above:

Moronic Business!

I handed him over, a piece of paper
With ‘P.T.O’ written on either side

It kept him busy
Though rather uneasy
As he turned it over, until he died!

Separation Pangs of a Tea Lover!

What’s the musicai wail of a heart torn asunder (from the love of its life) that belongs to a tea-lover (like myself) who has been given the strict ‘tea-abstain’ doctor’s orders as part of his rigorous dietary regimen to aid recovery from viral hepatitis?

The answer: This heart-rending tea-ghazal from the shaayrana pen of yours truly, composed way back in 1982 (at the time of doing my internship after finishing Med School), while actually recovering from (a mild case of) Viral Hepatitis, as a celebratory tribute to the mehbooba (beloved) that chai (tea) has always been to me!

महरूमियत-ए-चाय का आलम है कुछ ऐसा,
Mehroomiyat-e-chai ka aalam hai kuch aisa,
दिन को न मिले चैन न रातों को नींद आये;
Din ko na mile chain na raaton ko neend aye;
मयखाना-ए-दिल में है गमगीनी का साया,
Maikhana-e-dil mein hai ghamgeeni ka saaya,
बिन प्याला-ए-चाय के सुरूर नहीं छाये !
Bin pyaala-e-chai ke suroor nahi chhaye!

बा-वजह  दर्द-ए-जिगर थी जुदाई करी कुबूल,
Ba-wajeh dard-e-jigar thi judaai kari qubool,
पर एक नयी कसक मेरे दिल को लगी हाय;
Par ek nayi kasak mere dil ko lagi haaye;
उसकी वो गर्म-जोशी न मेरे लिए है अब,
Uski woh garm-joshi na mere liye hai ab,
गैरों के लब को चूमे, मुझसे आँख न मिलाये !
Gairon ke lab ko choome, mujhse aankh na milaye!

वो मुझसे दूर होना मेरी जां-नशीन का,
Woh mujhse door hona meri jaan-nasheen ka,
दिल को मेरे कचोटे, मेरी रूह को तडपाये;
Dil ko mere kachote, meri rooh ko tadpaye;
किस्मत की बेवफाई पर लगता है की मैंने,
Kismat ki bewafai par lagta hai ki maine,
खुद अपने राजदान के हाथों फरेब खाए !
Khud apne raazdaan ke haathon fareb khaye!

(और अब तो)
(Aur ab toh)
जीने को गरजमंद हूँ उस दिन के लिए जब,
Jeene ko gharazmand hoon us din ke liye jab,
गिनती मेरी भी उसके अपनों में फिर हो जाए !
Gintee meri bhi uske apno mein fir ho jaaye!

The Humourous Philosophy Of (Coming Of Age) Pain


On its way to eruption,
My last third Molar;
Has given me, among other things,
A good bit of dolor*.

My jaw has hypertrophied,
And there is inflammation of gum;
I am afraid to open my mouth,
And have been rendered dumb.

’cause each attempt to move my jaws,
Gives me a pang of pain;
Making me the revelation:
“Wisdom is painful to attain”!

*dolor,one of the four cardinal signs of inflammation – (the other three being rubor or redness of hyperaemia, tumor or swelling & calor or warmth, as described by Aulus Cornelius Celsus, the father of Pathological Science) – is Latin equivalent of pain.

PS: The published version (way back in 1979 when I was a third year student at MAMC) of the poem, that I have been unable to locate presently, had a cartoon caricature of my swollen right side of face due to the soft tissue hypertrophy abutting on my jaw to give me a comical, wincing look!

Nap-time Buddies

Brad Pitt, my best buddy (in dreams, who I hang out with for the sake of Angie baby) is the bloke rendering the caricaturing service above. It’s definitely not me. I look infinitely more handsome (as attested by Angelina in my dreams)!

The feminine face of the wince of ‘coming of age pain’ above belongs to Paris Hilton – my wife’s best buddy (in my, not her, dreams who I hang out with for my, not her, sake)!