ACTOR: Someone who tries to be everyone but himself.
BABY: Alimentary canal with a loud voice at one end and no responsibility at the other.
CAREER WOMAN: One who goes out and earns a man’s salary instead of sitting at home and taking it away from him.
DANCING: The art of pulling your feet away faster than your partner can step on them.
EARLY RISING: Triumph of mind over mattress. (Click to view the risque version.) (Triumph of Viagra over mind.)
FAME: Being known to those who do not know us.
GASTRIC-ULCER: Something we get by mountain-climbing over the mole-hills.
HANGOVER: Something to occupy the head that wasn’t used the night before.
ILLEGIBILITY: A doctor’s prescription written with a post office pen in the crumpled seat of a jerkily-moving second hand car.
JUDGE: A law student who marks his own papers.
KISS: A course of procedure for the mutual stoppage of speech when words are superfluous.
LAWYER: A man who is willing to go out and spend your last Rupee to prove that he is right.
MAN: A creature of superior intelligence who elects creatures of inferior intelligence to govern him.
NECK: Something that, if you don’t stick out, you won’t get into trouble upto.
OBESITY: A surplus gone to waist.
PARATROOPER: A soldier who climbs down trees he never climbed up.
QUERY: The antithesis of a reply.
RADIO: An instrument that talks until you have a headache, then advertises to sell you something to relieve it.
SECOND MARRIAGE: Triumph of hope over experience.
TELEVISION: A radio with eyestrain.
UMBRELLA: A shelter for one and a shower bath for two.
VIRUS: A Latin word used by doctors to mean, “Your guess is as good as mine”.
WAITER: A man for whom money grows on trays!
X: A teacher’s response to the student who drew a blank on the answer sheet.
YAWN: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
ZOO: A place devised for animals to study the habits of human beings.