(Did you know “A joke a day keeps the doctor away”? Unless he happens to be your fun-Doctor, in which case enhanced empathy with him is the outcome!)

Rob & Mark applied for the same job. They took a written test.

“You both got the same number of answers wrong. But Rob gets the job,” the recruiter informed them.

“If we both got the same number of answers wrong, how come he gets the job?” asked an indignant Mark. “That’s like you two conspiring to rob me of the job!”

“Not right,” said the recruiter. “That’s because one of Rob’s wrong answer was better than yours.”

“Hah! How can that be?”

“For question number 64, Rob wrote ‘I don’t know.’ But you were off the mark as you wrote ‘Me neither.’ “

(Did you know “A joke a day keeps the doctor away”? Unless he happens to be your fun-Doctor, in which case enhanced empathy with him is the outcome!)

A woman went to her psychiatrist because she was having severe problems with her love life. The psychiatrist asked her many questions but did not seem to be getting a clear picture of her problems. Finally he asked, “Do you ever watch your husband’s face while you are making love?”

“Well, yes, once in the last five years.”

“Well, how did he look?”

“Very angry”

At this point the psychiatrist felt that he was really getting somewhere and he said, “Well, that’s very interesting, we must look into this further. Now tell me, you say that you have only seen your husband’s face once during love making in the past five years; that seems somewhat unusual; how did it occur that you saw his face that time?”

“He was looking through the window at me.”

(Did you know “A joke a day keeps the doctor away”? Unless he happens to be your fun-Doctor, in which case enhanced empathy with him is the outcome!)

A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 5 Kg. weight loss program.

The next day, there’s a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign round her neck .

She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company.
The sign reads: ‘If you can catch me, you can have me.’ Without a second thought, he takes off after her. A few miles later, huffing and puffing, he finally catches her and has his way with her.

The same girl shows up for the next four days and the same thing happens.
On the fifth day, he weighs himself and is delighted to find he has lost 5 Kg. as promised.

He then calls the company and orders their 5-day/10 Kg. program.

The next day there’s a knock at the door and there stands the most stunning, beautiful, sexy woman he has ever seen in his life. She is wearing nothing but Reebok running shoes and a sign around her neck that reads: ”If you catch me you can have me.”

Well, he’s out the door after her like a shot! This girl is in excellent shape and it takes him a while longer to catch her but when he does, it’s definitely worth every muscle cramp and wheeze, so for the next four days, the same routine happens. Much to his delight, on the fifth day he weighs himself only to discover that he has lost another 10Kg. as promised.

He decides to go for broke and calls the company to order the 7-day/20 Kg. program.

‘Are you sure?’ asks the representative on the phone.’This is our most rigorous program.’

‘Absolutely,’ he replies, ‘I haven’t felt this good in years.’

The next day there’s a knock at the door; when he opens it he finds this huge, muscular, 7ft hunk standing there wearing nothing but pink running shoes and a sign around his neck that reads: “I’m Jackie. If I catch you, you’re mine!”

(Did you know “A joke a day keeps the doctor away”? Unless he happens to be your fun-Doctor, in which case enhanced empathy with him is the outcome!)

The elderly Frenchman in his local church’s confessional says: “Forgive me Father, for I have sinned. During World War Two, a beautiful woman knocked at my door & asked me to hide her from enemy. I put her up in the attic.”

“No need to ask forgiveness for that my son”, says the priest. “It was a wonderful thing to do.”

“Yeah,” says the man “but she started offering me sexual favours in return and I went along with it.”

“People in wartime situations do funny things. If you are truly sorry for your actions, you are forgiven”

“That’s a great load off my mind,” says the old man. “May I ask you a question?”

“Of course.”

“She’s getting on a bit old now. Should I tell her the war is over?”

TWIN JOKE!

Hi Friends

Did you know “A joke a day keeps the doctor away” ? Unless he happens to be your fun-Doctor, in which case enhanced empathy with him is the outcome!

You have heard jokes & PJ’s (poor jokes) all your life. But have any of you ever had a brush with twin jokes? Well, I guess not. OK, so here comes an introductory sample:

1)  What is the height of honesty?  Answer: A pregnant lady buying one-and-a-half tickets in a DTC bus! (That, as we all know, is an example of a PJ).

2) What is the height of dishonesty?  No, the answer to that is not another PJ, but a full-fledged joke which goes as under:

A young lady boards a jam-packed DTC bus and snuggles next to a general (unreserved) seat occupied by a bhola looking sardarji, with the expectation of being offered the seat by him. Not eliciting any response, she chooses to blurt out rebuking: “Don’t you have the courtesy to offer your seat to a pregnant lady?”  Feeling flustered and awkward, poor sardarji promptly gets up and his seat is taken. However, on a surreptitious closer inspection, sardarji cannot help remarking: “But ma’am you don’t really look like you are pregnant!” Only to hear her retort: “How the hell would I look that way? After all it’s only half an hour old”.

Now that ladies & gentlemen, & sardarjis (WITH ALL MY DUE APOLOGIES), is the height of dishonesty!

And the combo you just read is an example of a twin joke.